We Stereotype Only The Finest & Brightest

Labor Day weekend came with a few labor pains alright. Actually, Sunday was a wonderful dinner at my brother and sister in laws house. My brother cooked all day to make a great traditional spaghetti dinner with meatballs, Italian sausage, boiled eggs, and all made from scratch. 

Seventeen of us sat around talking about books, recipes, childhood memories from the older generation, and oohed and aahhed over my 3-month-old niece. And then that dreaded question came towards me like a punch in the face, "Why don't you have one of these?"

Instead of hiding, I answered very bluntly, "I can't." Then the next question, "Why not?" "Well because that's how God made me." My cousin, lets call her Veronica, adds to the conversation and says I should have called her because she knows how Vitamin E works. Keep in mind, she has never been married or had a child, but she is well read. I continued to tell those sitting around about my past two years in a minute or less paraphrase. My sweet, 89 pound and 88-year-old Aunt, tells me "Well if a baby pees on you then you'll get pregnant."

Oh is that all I'm missing? I have tried everything else, why not this.

 My Aunt then continues by telling me I should get a midget to donate his sperm because, "Those midgets and little people are so durn cute. It's like they never grow up." 

Uhhhhh. No, I think I’ll pass. No offense to the little people.

Then, not to be out done by her mother, my cousin, Veronica who is in her early 50's, suggest that I adopt a baby from India because "our family could use a good cardiologist someday or a Chinese baby they are so durn smart too." Then my aunt volleyed back with, "Oh what if you adopted a Chinese midget. Now that would be a smart and adorable child." 

That's right folks, you have read this correctly. Nothing gets past my family. They know ethnic groups so well they can pick out their own cardiologist. 

Happy Labor Day!