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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

That Can't Be Me

I saw a picture of myself the other day.
I saw a cancer survivor.
I saw fear.
I saw exhaustion.
I saw sadness.
I saw wrinkles.
I did not like what I was seeing.
I didn't see anything in this picture that I see in the mirror.

I've been telling young females, for months now, to love themselves just as they are while trying to love myself just a little in order to survive.
They say "What you see in the young you are reaching out to yourself."
They say "As you give out to others it will be given unto you."

Maybe I've been trying to lift my young females up, because I've needed lifting.

I told a complete stranger recently, "I don't, nor did I ever, have cancer, but I was diagnosed with it." She looked shocked and bewildered. I wanted to tell her not to own it, but I can not tell her what to do with it just like no one can tell me, even those closest to me, what to do with the diagnosis, my healing or fight against it. 

What we own are our selves. 
What we own are our bodies. 
What we own is our self-esteem.
What we own are our flaws. 

Flaws and all...but when you are loved by the little ones...we're all beautiful.  

Sunday, June 1, 2014

14 Years

They made me laugh.
They laughed at me.
They laughed with me.

They made me love.
They loved me.

They made me mad.
They were mad at me.

They cried in front of me.
They cried for me.
They cried with me.

They hugged me.
They let me hug them.

They pushed me.
They knew I was going to push back.

They fed me.
They asked me to feed them.

They gave me gifts.
They allowed me to pull out their talents and gifts.

They fixed my hair.
They answered my questions about their hair.

They failed.
They watched me fall.

They succeeded.
They inspired me to survive.

They educated me.