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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Rich Man...Poor Man

If you have a ding dong in your sack lunch, then you are considered elementary school.

If you have the pleasure of 5 or more pairs of Jordans in your closet, then you are considered middle school.

If you have the parental support to rent a Limo Hummer for prom, then you are considered high school.

If you spend more than $6 on a Saturday night, then you are considered college.

If you have a job AND a place of your own, then  you are considered your 20's.

If you have the joy of driving a luxury car from another country, then you are considered your 30's.

If you own a home and/or are married, then you are considered your 40's.

If you have not be diagnosed with cancer of any kind or a heart condition, then you are considered your 50's.

If you have been hired to work in the business world of 20 somethings who have a college degree, then you are considered your 60's.

If you have children of your own, then you are the RICHEST person I know.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Turn On The Blinker...I'm Changing Lanes

When we get bad news we all react in different ways.
 After discovering that I was not pregnant and the IUI did not work, I left town.

One of the best prescriptions for a tattered heart or emotional let down is a quick get away.
Just a little 24 hour trip will do just fine.
This is not a romantic get away either. This is one with friends who know you well.
The kind of friends who have seen you in a bathing suit when you haven't shaved your legs since before the Christmas tree came out, and they don't blink an eye.
They make fun of you of course, but they do not blink while saying it.

I took a trip with two friends who are both experts in business and travel. They are great to travel with because it is their natural instinct to take charge and deal with the public. I on the other hand just become a follower on these trips.

It is just what I needed.

We laughed so much at life in general and at silly things, like our own fears. For example, as much as I love shopping there, IKEA worries me and causes me to be uneasy, but this shall be another blog.

See what I mean.

The theme of the weekend was "No schedule. Nothing preplanned. And let's find LiLu a new donor."

When you have friends who take your biggest problem and turn it into a constant joke every where you go, you know you are in good company.

As for my return to reality today, well I'm now looking forward to starting over with saving money, applying for a fertility grant, and hoping by Summer time I will have enough saved for the IVF  procedure.

My adventure continues...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Frankly My Dear, I do give a...

                           "Tomorrow I'll think of some way . . . after all, tomorrow is another day."

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"So much time...So little to do." - Willy Wonka

This is exactly how I have felt for the past two weeks. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Did you know that two weeks is 336 hours? No, of course you didn't.

Did you know that two weeks is 20,160 minutes? No, of course you didn't.

Only a severely impatient person being taught patience would have that calculation figured out.

My anxiety tonight from the fear of not being pregnant is pretty intense.

Unfortunately, this could be PMS too.

(Dear Mother Nature, I think it is pretty cruel to have the two dates so close together.)

If I'm not pregnant, then I will hate to disappoint my loved ones who have been so supportive and hopeful.

If I am pregnant, then I hope I don't throw up from excitement or fear.

We will see soon.

Just 540 minutes or 32,400 seconds until I know.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Dedicated To The Ones I Love

There's a play/movie from the 1970's titled 'Same Time Next Year' where 2 lovers meet once a year at the same place for their rendezvous.
They catch up.
They coitus.
They spend the night.
They part.
And they are happy.

There are some friends who we have like that.
We meet sometimes once or twice a year.
We catch up.
We laugh.
We bond.
We part.
We are happy.

There's a since of comfort that goes along with these friendships.
There is no commitment, but a ton of comfort.

It's a beautiful relationship.

A favorite scene of mine from 'Same Time, Next Year' reminds me that you could easily change out the names with you and one of these friends.

                                                  George: You always could see through me, couldn't you?
                                          Doris: But that's okay, because... I've always loved what I've seen.

This blog is dedicated to our Same Time, Next Year friendships, to the Golden Girl friendships, and especially to the Destiny Child friendships.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

I Prefer Diana Prince, but Super-Woman Will Do

Looks just like me!

Today I was called brave.

"You are so brave. I couldn't imagine doing this all by myself and then the idea of raising a child alone. You are so brave. I think it is amazing."

I was so stunned I just stood there, because of all the things I've been called and all the emotions I have felt, brave/bravery has never been one of them.

It really never dawned on me that this journey could or would be considered brave.

I don't find it courageous to go after what I want.
I don't find it daring to follow your heart’s desire.
I’ve always thought it was me just being stubborn.


It seems natural to want to love a child.
It seems natural to want to bring a child into the world.
It seems natural to work on making the world better for them as they grow up.  
It seems like my calling.

I really hope God and I are on the same page.

Now she's brave!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


I am craving Peanut Butter and Jelly and Chinese food.
PBandJ Sushi...that's right!
I have indigestion that wakes me up at night.

I cry over the little things.
I remember this dude...

I get mad about the littlest things.
Ninja baby???

I spend  most of the day having an absolutely peaceful mind.

I'm either pregnant or PMSing & LMM (losing my mind).
If this Corgi in a swing looks normal to you, then you might be losing your mind.
If this Corgi in a swing looks like your baby, then you might be pregnant.

We will know for sure this time next week!!!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Come On Girls, Look On The Sunny Side

Everyone is pregnant around me.

There are 7, count them, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 teachers I work with who are pregnant + one who is expecting triplets, and fertility meds were not involved.

There is one of my guy friends who does not believe in God or Family but his girl is preggers.

There's the young lady who rented my apartment to me; she is expecting on my birthday.

There is my neighbor's dog who was apparently fixed, but it didn't take and she is expecting her first motley crue of pups any day now.


Don't be bitter, Eggs...we can do this!

Happily Ever What???

Yesterday I attended Bridal Extravaganza.

Afterwards, I went to bed at 8:30.

It was not nearly as bad as I had heard, however I picked up on a lot.

At first I was sad, because here were all these women who had found their soul mates, life partners, love of their lives, and here I was walking around hoping and praying that I'm knocked up by a Russian/Irish lawyer I will never meet.

BUT THEN...the day took a turn.

As I stood in lines, listening and watching people I realized most of these brides are no where near being grateful. They have forgotten that someone has chosen them to spend the rest of their life with. Some of these brides were so consumed with what others may think they forgot it was a celebratory occasion for them, the one they love and all those who have watched their relationship develop.

Clearly, love is blind.   

The sweetest discovery I made was that it doesn't matter how old you are, everyone still wants to be a princess. One of the bridal places has a princess line of wedding dresses. Women of all ages and sizes were mesmerized by this line and oooohhed and ahhhhhed over the princess dresses.

Belle from the Princess line

I thought, "Wow no matter how Bridezilla-ish these women can be, there's a little girl inside all of us." And that made me think Happily Ever After, whether our Prince has found us or his GPS is broken, can't be stopped.

 Maybe, just maybe, my Prince hasn't arrived yet but will come to me in a different way...and call me mommy.


Friday, January 6, 2012

You Can Call Me Midge

Being  Barbie's friend is not all that bad.

It's being Barbie that's the real pain in the rear. You have to be polite, wear make up, and smile at people you strongly dislike. Your hair must look good and your waist must be kept a certain size at all time.
You get labeled by bitter, unhappy women who spend their meetings and lunch time wanting to judge others because, well... because they're are bitter and unhappy.
She sure is purty!

As for me, I'm good. They have disliked me for a long time. I'm Barbie's friend, Midge. She wears an off -in-the-distance glare, has a recurring date with bad hair, gets knocked up by an unknown doll and she has freckles. Coincidence? I don't think so. God and Mattel have a sense of humor.

pregnant midge
Midge, my fertile hero!
Bad Hair + Freckles = Minnie Me

In my research for this blog, I first found out Barbie had friends, and that alone was shocking. The second shocker was that Midge was the first pregnant barbie doll, therefore I love this chick.

So for all those who work in a place where grown ups forget they are grown ups and still have cliques, do not fret. Be it Barbie or Midge, roll with whatever silly name they give you, because if they are talking about you they are probably inadequate in some area of their life and lack heart, and in secret may wish they were a Barbie or Midge.

That's more like it...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

We're Off To The Races

And they're out of the gate...

Swimmer 1,930,762 is in the lead with swimmer 348,091 on his tail, literally.

Trailing the 12.5 million swimmers is 532, but don't give up on any of the swimmers, folks, because here comes swimmer 11, 953,028 to take the lead.

Ladies and gentleman, this is one tight race and it looks like we have two weeks to wait to see who the winner is in this one!

Godspeed, Little Man!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Always A Bridesmaid and Never Bored...

Why do people get married?

In the 1920's it use to be because of arrangements in the old country. For example, my great grandparents from Palermo, Sicily.

These people are not my great grandparents. In fact I have no idea who they are, but they just looked 'arranged'.

In the 40's and 50's marriage was a means of survival & gratitude... in other words stay working on the farm or get married to a returning soldier.
Sporting their grateful honeymoon grins.

In the 60's and 70's it became common to get married because you weren't going to nursing school or court reporting school and you had to get out of your parents home.

Notice that neither are wearing wedding rings...hmmm.

In the 1980's some people got married because they had to cover up being gay OR they were the last in their family's heritage to try and hold on to the tradition of marriage.

My intention was to use all black and white pictures, but this one screams 1980's, and I couldn't pass it up.

In the 1990's people were beginning to get married out of love and pregnancy. Now of course these two have been around for the entire timeline, but people were not hiding either reason any longer.

They look Italian???

(I won't even comment on marrying for just pisses me off!)

In the new century, marriage was considered a right to vote for and fight for among people.

History always repeats itself, so in the past few years I have been in, laughed, to, at, mocked, cried, and uninvited to weddings of all reasons and causes.

My favorite story of all is about a friend, lets call her Katy, who tried to convince her boyfriend, lets call him Kirk, that he should propose soon, because I was trying to get pregnant. Yes you read that right. You see I really want 'Katy' and 'Kirk' to be the godparents to my not yet conceived child, so 'Katy' thought she would pull this one out of a hat... "If you don't propose soon, then we will not get to be the godparents to LiLu's baby."

Oh my gosh! Katy looks just like this!
I tried to explain to her, that the trick is getting someone to marry you because you're pregnant, not because your friend is pregnant. Apparently wine and estrogen filled conversations cause us to have some crazy ideas about marriage.

This Christmas Kirk proposed to Katy, and it wasn't because it was arranged, nor did she need to get off the farm, she didn't need to move out of her parents, neither of them are gay and need a cover up, and she is not pregnant. This proposal was all about love. Love. Real heart felt love.

P.S. I got popped the question too...for the first time ever (and I've been waiting for a long time) I have been invited, by the bride, to attend Bridal Extravaganza and I said, "Yes!"

... I think I will wear white.


Monday, January 2, 2012

Not So Everyday Fresh, Sir.

Recently the term Feminine Hygiene Cleansing a bag, has become pretty popular for labeling men, mostly, for their attitude, comments, and general disposition.

When I read Facebook statuses or comments, I sometimes fantasize about writing in all caps...FEMININE HYGIENE CLEANSING PRODUCT… IN A BAG...and then I return to a calm and normal state of mind.

Recently I went on a date with one, and the entire time he sat their talking I was sitting their creating a Saturday Night Live skit in my head, titled, "Help! I'm dating a Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product... in a bag and I can't get away."

When I got home I went as far as emailing Saturday Night Live about this skit in some great detail and although they replied that they liked my idea, I was not an official writer for the show, so my skit could be used but no credit due to me.

Huh? What?

I was considering this as a public service to women. You know? Showing all the signs of what a date with a Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product... in a bag might look like to save and protect other women.

Oh well, their loss.
Since I can't get it on the National Broadcasting Company, here you go ladies.

10 Signs to know if you are dating a Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product... in a bag:

1. Spends more than 3/4 of the time talking about their success and what a wonderful friend they are to others, as in how much money they have loaned out to others.
2. Shares how much income they made from 1998 until the present.
3. Shows the app on their phone that shows them working out.
4. Tells everyone within an hour of meeting them their yearly income, their workout schedule and the kind of car they drive and how they could improve the German car line.
5. Considers 'midtown' 15 miles away from their home...even if Midtown or Downtown is an hour away.

6. Does not have a case on their Iphone, so they can check out their reflection at any random moment.
7. Has Mark Zuckerberg on speed dial in case their hourly posts are not up fast enough on Facebook.
8. Considers it an act of kindness because they are in public with you.
9. Dates 2 or more women at once and counts this as community service to feed the underprivileged.
10. Denies coloring their hair to hide the gray (which to me is the saddest of all).

So ladies, good luck, and help one another out when you see a helpless female stuck on a date with a Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product... in a bag and can’t get away.