This could be why I over analyze everything that is said to me, since I have always had to interpret my own family. Do not get me wrong, I am guilty of one or two insane quotes.
The following are actual quotes from various family members and of course the translation into reality. Please keep in mind my family actually believed what they were saying and sometimes it took family meetings of siblings and/or cousins to interpret what they were talking about. Other times, or after a few years, you just caught on a little more quickly.
"Isn't she sweet?" She's cute. Not so pretty.
"Oh, Mother Mary, the dog is The dog is constipated.
dying right here in my living room."
"Oh! She is a little devil." She's pretty and a smart ass.
"He is so ugly!" He won't rub my feet.
"He joined the witness protection program." He's dead.
"She is on drugs and BAD!" She got married to a non-Italian and
moved out of state.
"Mangia! Mangia! What are you? On a diet?" Eat! Shut up! Stop talking about yourself.
"What are you goin' to do? Eat your life away?" I'm not hungry & you shouldn't be either.
"He's taken a turn for the worse. We have They changed his meds.
to go see him today!"
"One of these days you're gonna wake up dead." Stop stealing my Valium/prescriptions.
"Whore." She left her husband.
"Well, he just wasn't ready to settle down." He left his wife.
"Oh please, they think they are better than us." Referring to someone in the family who
has a good paying career and possibly a
home of their own.
"The world is crazy! It's not safe anywhere." My newspaper was stolen.
"You're going to get a yeast infection!!!" Please take off your bathing suit & hang
...to be continued