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Saturday, September 15, 2012

God, A Woman, and The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf

This is the story about a woman who had a dream. A dream to be a mother. Now this woman I am telling you about is no virginal Mary, but there was once The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf  who had been a huffing, and a puffing, and trying to knock down her door. But God, well God had a back door for this woman to escape...

You see there was once a woman who fell for a wolf, fell hard, like HARD, but she picked herself up, dusted herself off, and kept going.

In fact, she decided, "Screw this dating gig, I'm going to get pregnant on my own."

 Well, a year and a half later, that woman is not pregnant yet, but she never forgot about her heart's desire to be a mother. She FINALLY started to forget about The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf too.

(Random tidbit...Did you know Noe stands for Noah. Noah was the name this woman wanted to name her first son...anyway...)

This woman, who is nothing like Mary, decided to check out the foster to adopt program. It seemed like the right calling for her. She began the paperwork. She checked into all sorts of resources. And one day, the trumpets sounded and she finally received an announcement that read...

"We received your paperwork.
You will be hearing from the stork."
 You are on your way.
Before long you will have a bay-bay."

(Ok. It didn't say these exact words, but you get the gist.)

Oh how this woman was elated and excited. She was about to go announce to all the good news, when suddenly there was a ding on her computer. It was The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf!
                                                                   (insert dramatic music)

After 15 months, The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf sent this woman a message with great remorse, great passion in his tone, and a huge amount of bullshi*.

"Oh no!" Thought the woman, who was nothing like Mary, "Why now? What does he want?"

He distracted her.
He kept her mind elsewhere.
Well, he was full of crap.

One day the woman decided not to answer a phone call from The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf, and instead she sat still and watched a crazy, sweating, yelling preacher on television, and he was telling people in Dallas, Texas...

"God told Mary, I can make this happen without a man!!! Ladies, if he don't get you then forget him! When they leave, then clap as they go! The devil will look good and come to you when you least expect it! Stand strong and don't be swayed and when all else fails ask God for a direct sign! Stand up, and set it off!"

Well this woman caught herself sitting on the couch with her jaw dropped. She looked around as if God himself had just spoken to her, the woman who is nothing like Mary. She spent the rest of the day walking on her tip toes as if she walked too hard, the earth would crack and swallow her up. She waited for the sign from God. It came. Who knew God knew how to text message?

The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf hasn't given up, but neither has the woman.
Her adoption classes begin in a few weeks, and no one is stopping her from getting her heart's be a mother.
After all, God once told a woman, "I can make it happen without man."