Thursday, December 15, 2011

Leave the gun and take the canolli...oh and Buon Natale

I want to meet the people who are really described in the Hallmark cards, because I don't think I really know any.
 
Every time I look at the Hallmark cards I end up walking around to look for the Italian Family section. Never there. All I ever find are the cards that are all mushy and sweet and look like a rough draft sketch for a massengill commercial.
 
 
Where are the cards with real people and real thoughts on them?  The cards that say it with guilt, regret, tradition and recipes of course. 
Picture it...
they have to be on black paper to go with our outfits
there should be some bling
all the illustrations should have women with poofy hair and big boobs...and they should read like this...
 
"You mean the world to me, but if you don't do as I say next time I'm not giving you crap for Christmas, because you know you still owe me money from that bad used car lot investment from 1978.
I'm just sayin.
By the way, call your mother more and when are you going to settle down and find a good girl/boy to marry? Huh? huh? Okay.
Ti Amo. Really, I love ya. Merry Christmas. 
Don't forget the poker chips for the game after midnight mass."
 
 
 
When you care enough to send the very real.
 
I'm just sayin.
 
 

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