Thank you, Buca di Beppo For Your Decor!

So what's so great about being an Italian woman? Well for one...we wear our fruit well.

What's so great about being an Italian man? They see pickles as if they were zucchini.

What's so great about being a religious italian? You may be mean as hell, but you are cute when you are old.

Part Duh... I Mean Deux Of Course

I know the suspense is too much to wait to see the other half of my "wanna post on Facebook" opinions.

1. When your employees are unhappy change things...if you can pull yourself from your computer of course and you know any of their names.
2. My dog is just down right hysterical. No really. We have great laughing moments together...I'm sure of it.
3. Oh that Adam Levine...he is such a hot lil' rascal.
4. I have a brand new opinion and level of admiration for Lady GaGa.
5. Oh My Dog! I am freaking out about the ex-husband on 'Mob Wives' that turned to the
Feds, and I have no one I can admit this to.
6. Migraine headaches suck!
7. I do believe you can possibly go insane from boredom...(i.e. watching students take a test)
8. I am so freaking nice...I can't believe I have to remind people of this.
9. Oh stop kidding yourself, eat the whole pizza.
10. Call me crazy, but I think jalapenos help get rid of headaches.
11. "You can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh**." - High School Counselor
12. Insecure men make for a very poor leader/boss/father.
13. Sometimes you just have to be honest, stand strong, and be prepared to take the punches that come after it.
14. Is it me or does anyone else think the transgender Miss Universe contestant looks A LOT like Donald Trump's daughter?!? (insert raised eyebrow)
15. I think young mothers who are raising their children without their own mother being alive are a strong and unique breed of women.
16. I miss my "Mommie Dearest".
17. Sometimes you have to give up what you love to go after what you want to love.
18. I prefer a Facebook Free life.
19. Beach, family, and laughter...there is a savior.

Today's Menu: Not Chicken Salad

Recently, a high school counselor told me, "You can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh**." I believe this is my new mantra for life. Not only do I love this line it would have been one my own grandmother would probably want on a t-shirt.

No need to stress about a relationship, just look at the scenario and say, "Well, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh**." 
STRESS BE GONE.

Instead of trying to figure out how to get people to think like you or persuade them to do as you want, look at them, smile, and think to your self, "Well, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh**."
STRESS BE GONE.

Rather than walking around paranoid about your future when you work in an unstable environment, shrug your shoulders, and say "Well, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh**."
STRESS BE GONE.

Yum!

5 Reasons Why I Love This Man

1. He is what I call, "Old Hollywood Handsome."
2. He once owned a pet pig named Max.
3. His humanitarian work is like no one else.
4. He was considered one of People Magazine's "Smartest People in Hollywood".
5. When he gets arrested for protesting he gives the Secret Service Brad Pitt's name, instead of his own.

Handsome.

Pig Lovin'.

Humanitarian.

Smart as Peas.

"Brad Pitt"

Hi, My Name Is Lisa & I'm A Facebook-aholic...

I gave up facebook for Lent. It's actually a pretty nice relief from the random stress it could cause. However, being the opinionated Italian southern belle-ish Aries woman that I am, I have to still share my opinion somewhere. The following are all the facebook statuses I missed out on posting thus far. Although I am only half way through the Lenten season, I am already convinced that I will rack up some real doozies (opinions) and a potential introduction for my therapist some day.

1.) If you can graduate from college you can take a freakin' citizenship test!
2.) I never want to see another snickers bar again...you know who you are.
3.) You really do have to be very specific with men on expectations!!! (even on the obvious)
3.) I just love The Voice! I really do!
4.) What happened to the family I once knew?
5.) Why does Ryan Seacrest get introduced after the star judges as if they are his opening act?

This could pass for a picture of me in 7th grade, but it is actually Ryan Seacrest!!!

6.) Barry White, more than Olivia Newton John, makes me want to dance not kill people.
7.) Did you know that leap year day, February 29th, women notoriously propose to their man? News to me.
8.) I woke up today with my mother's hands.
9.) Modern Family is hysterical...i.e. "Satan's Trifecta, Gay cinema's most famous tornado"...love that show
10.) Rush Limbaugh is a jackass!
11.) Manicures, Pedicures, and Shoe Shopping...Oh my!
12.) No more selfish, crazy people por favor.


13.) I love my dog.
14.) I wonder if our teachers/parents worried about our generation the way we do these kids.
15.) Sometimes it is so scary when life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would.
16.) Bologna sandwiches still do a kid good.
17.) 'Mob Wives', on VH1, just proves that 1 out of 4 Italian women are bipolar!
18.) When you do not drink coffee for 10 months then have a cup for breakfast followed by several glasses of ice tea, you do not fall asleep until after 3a.m.

Sooooo good...you'll forget what you were shopping for...

19.) Ladies & Gentleman, Red Velvet Cheesecake! (courtesy of Cheesecake Factory) Enough said.
20.) Sometimes you just have to be sad, feel sad, express sad, share sad, say thank you to those who listened, pick yourself up and make curtains into Ball gowns.
21.) It is official: just a few days of Spring Break, and I have already watched too much TruTv, Cloo, and ID. I know this because of my dreams and paranoia.

For You Non-Believers!

This week I missed my house. I also missed one of my ex-boyfriends, who was convinced I was his emotional yo yo. Last but not least, I ate Circus Peanuts for dinner with a diet Orange soda...
HEY! Don't judge me, every effort of zero calories counts.

So when you wake up thinking of that ex...


 I am aware this is not my ex, but according to this framed photo on my desk at school, it could be.



When you spend your afternoon fantasizing about candy...

 Dinner should always be color coordinated.

And when you cry on the way to your apartment about your previously owned (poorly built) home...




...let me just say that could be PMS!

Spring Break, Baby!

                                                     Woo Hoo! Spring Break, Baby!

It's time to parrrrrty!

Now let's define Parrrrrty...

In LiLu Land that means:

1. Sleep past 6:48 a.m.
2. Go in public without make up
3. Go out to a restaurant...in public...on a week day...eat lunch...for longer than 25 minutes.
4. Schedule a workout regimen...schedule is all I said
5. Shave legs and show them in public (this means with only one other person) and call that "laying out"
6. Visit a museum I've never been to before
7. Keep a doctor's appointment and not worry about how long you have to wait
8. Drink caffeine after 6 p.m.

I just loooooove me some Spring Break!