Rated F: Foul language, Faith, and Fighting

Cancer is not a gift. 

I give you permission to slap anyone who says that to you. 

However, I actually thanked God for cancer and chemotherapy, if I have to go through it, then yes I actually thanked him. 

I did not thank God because I opened it like it was a brand new pair of Jimmy Choo boots, but my words were meant to convey, "Thank you, God, for the experience cancer is about to bring me." 

I am fully aware that my trek with the bitch, my new name for cancer, is just beginning and it may not be easy, but I’m determined to fight it with all that is inside of me.  And before I can fight with my heart and my gut, I have to be quiet and say thanks for the experiences and blessings that will come from this fight.

I understand this is confusing for some people to understand and it was really hard to say, but every time I have thanked God for my past challenges, it wasn't because I was excited to endure a bunch of BS, it was because I knew in my heart that at the end of this experience I would come out as a better human, with a tale to tell, and a survival story that would show others what blessings look like. 

Blessings are oddly wrapped in moments that you can't believe you hear yourself saying. 

Today, I actually said out loud without thinking, "Oh thank you, God, for just having breast cancer."

Blessings are timed events that you thought would never happen or could never happen. 

Last night, I got to spend hours at my dining room table getting to know someone all over again, and it was someone that I thought I would never see or never get to tell them how much they mean to me. 

Blessings are gifts in the moment that you can't imagine laughing and yet you find that laughter is all that you can do. 

Today, in the doctor's office the nurse had to knock louder and longer to get our attention because we, my on-site support team, were laughing so loudly in what could have been seen as a dark hour.

Blessings come from the least likely direction, corners of the universe, and from the least likeliest people. 

In the last few weeks, I have had the most amazing yet simplest moments with people that have shown unending support, love, and true grit for being by my side, including complete strangers. 

I might not have had these blessings if it had not been for the discovery of cancer. 

Or maybe, just maybe I would not have appreciated these moments if it hadn't been for the ground cancer shook for me. 

God is good!

God is great!

Whether your God is a man, a woman, a planet, etc. I believe he, she, or it lives deep inside of you, guides you, and protects you, and sometimes we ignore it because we call it “just our gut instinct.” 

Trust that instinct.

It is more than just a feeling.

It is the power within you telling you what to do.

Follow it. 

Respect it. 

Thank your God for it. 

Amen!