Apparently I Want It All

Once upon a time I thought I knew it all or at least enough, but in reality I was dumb.
Dumb when it came to men, relationships, and what I was truly feeling.
I walked around like I knew what I was doing and what I was talking about, but, No.

I was dumb.

The ultimate dummy.

The ironic part is now that I’m not as dumb, do not misunderstand I still make dumb mistakes but now on accident, I have found that some men want women to act like we are dumb.

Why?
                                        WOULD SOMEBODY TELL ME ALREADY?

Does it make them feel like they are smooth if we act gullible?

Does it make a man feel smarter if he believes we don’t know what he is trying to get away with?

Does he feel more manly if we don’t call his bluff or his bullshit?

The ultimate 'Yes Dear'.

When did we, the single female, become so lonely that we would even consider acting as dumb as we once were and relinquish all that we want?

If  I get this right, it means we have to look a certain way, dress sexy but not slutty, wear make up but not too little or too much, have a sex drive of a 40 something (okay…check), be patient when they hide in their man caves, don’t ask too many questions, and play dumb when they want to pretend they didn’t just insult us, lie to us, or try to use us.

Well, here is what I say...

I want to dress in my flannel PJ's when I want.

I want to dress in my FMPumps and pearls when I want.

The ultimate shoe...FMPump

I want to cut my hair short or grow it long when I want.

I want to soak in hot bubble baths with candle light and listen to Miles Davis when I want.

I want to get dirty going fishing and clean my own fish when I want.
I want to gain 10 lbs and him not notice.

I want to lose 5 lbs and him notice.

The ultimate 'thick girl'.

I want to go without make up when I want.

I want to wear heavy eye make up when I want.

I want to make a mistake and not worry about being considered dumb.

I want to correct him on his mistakes and not worry about making him feel dumb.

Apparently I want it all.

The Ultimate Drama Queen