Dedicated To Two Old Horses

Last week I wrote about the definition, according to LiLu, of a man. This week it seems appropriate to define a woman.

Historically, we have been known as the chick created from a rib, the trouble maker who ate some fruit and didn't listen very well, and of course we are the cause of a few wars, if you believe everything you read.

Well they may be right. I, however, being a woman who likes to eat ribs, but not in public (figure that one out), who has dabbled in the area of forbidden fruit and failed to follow directions accurately, and although I haven't started too many wars, being an Aries I most certainly know how to fight like a warrior either for myself or for another, would like to give my personal definition of not just a woman, but that of a lady.


A lady is one who smiles at you while all along cussing you out in her head because you have "gone too far."

A lady is one who wipes the dirt from their forehead, stands up, cooks dinner for everyone but feeds herself while standing.

A lady is one who knows which is the salad fork and which is the dessert fork, but would prefer being at home, in her favorite t-shirt, reading her best magazine and eating cookie dough with her fingers.


A lady is one who pays her bills, helps her mother pay hers, and still has enough left over to get her nails done.

A lady is one who doesn't beat her children, although they have given her pretty much ever reason to do so, instead she hugs them.

A lady is one who moistorizes the face, neck and chest because the chest wrinkles and shows age, sometimes faster than anything above it.

A lady is from the South and knows what it means when they hear, "She carries an iron fist with a velvet glove" without further explanation.

A lady is a woman who has worked with good ole boys in the "industry" and still has a sense of self and humor.

A lady describes my mother, my godmother, and all those who had a hand in raising me.

Thank you, ladies.
Happy Mother's Day!