One of the many issues you deal with when TTC(trying to conceive) is doubt. In the beginning (hopefully just the beginning) you doubt everything about yourself b/c it is a path you probably didn't expect to be on, so you are start to blame yourself for all that goes wrong and doubt any decisions you have ever made. Today was one of those days. I waited for a hysteroscopy , had an IV in me, gowned up for surgery, and suddenly was told to go home they couldn't perform the procedure due to some medication I had taken days before.
Defeated floated above my head in a speech bubble. However, I am blessed to have a mother who takes off from work to be my taxi on these trips and who has always tried to make up for the heartache I've endured in this life...of course she has probably aged quicker than she should thanks to her always doing that. After leaving the surgery center with no answers, no procedure, and no idea what was to come next we went shopping (i.e. retail therapy)...I'll take a pair of Defeated & Gabbana in a size 8 please!
It's amazing how God, Fate, Easter Bunny, whatever you believe in works, b/c while agonizing over today, I received a text message from a former student telling me how excited they are for school to start, b/c they were able to get 'jumped out' of their gang, and now they can wear what ever clothes or colors they want to to school and talk to whomever they want to talk to...and then they said, "Thanks Mom for never giving up on me." (Insert chicken bone feeling in throat)
By the way, my doctor just called and told me the cancellation of today's procedure was not my fault. There was some confusion and he will get it straightened out and apologized continuously for my experience.
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