42 Years and 1 Month

Today, I had my 'teaching' appointment with the doctor. It was for learning how to give myself shots and my fertility medication schedule. However, when they asked, "So how's everything going?" I lost it.

I just started crying and crying.
I cried because my home is a storm of flooded damaged furniture and construction.
I cried because I have a deductible to pay before they continue their work.
I cried because someone stole my debit card number and depleted my account.
I cried because if it wasn't for face book I may never know what my family looks like or what they are doing.
I cried because I had to beg for help from my administration while other people have 6 conference periods to collect data???
I cried because I simply needed to cry.

After all of this crying and trying to apologize for it over and over, the doctor and nurse said that I was "admirable for being so head strong and not giving up, but lets face it you've waited 42 years what is one more month to deal with all of this stress and get back to a clear head. After all, stress can just add to any infertility issues."



Well...I lost it AGAIN. The tears came AGAIN...
"What if I fail at getting pregnant?"
"What if something else goes wrong?" 
 "What if something happens again with my house or my car or my who knows what?"
I love this attitude and reply I got from the doctor and nurse...
"Well dear, it might, but by then you will be pregnant, and everyone will think your crying is sweet and endearing."


"Oh, and by the way...you might become more emotional with the meds."

WHAT?!?!?!