Not So Everyday Fresh, Sir.

Recently the term Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product...in a bag, has become pretty popular for labeling men, mostly, for their attitude, comments, and general disposition.

When I read Facebook statuses or comments, I sometimes fantasize about writing in all caps...FEMININE HYGIENE CLEANSING PRODUCT… IN A BAG...and then I return to a calm and normal state of mind.

Recently I went on a date with one, and the entire time he sat their talking I was sitting their creating a Saturday Night Live skit in my head, titled, "Help! I'm dating a Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product... in a bag and I can't get away."
 

When I got home I went as far as emailing Saturday Night Live about this skit in some great detail and although they replied that they liked my idea, I was not an official writer for the show, so my skit could be used but no credit due to me.

Huh? What?

I was considering this as a public service to women. You know? Showing all the signs of what a date with a Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product... in a bag might look like to save and protect other women.

Oh well, their loss.
Since I can't get it on the National Broadcasting Company, here you go ladies.

10 Signs to know if you are dating a Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product... in a bag:

1. Spends more than 3/4 of the time talking about their success and what a wonderful friend they are to others, as in how much money they have loaned out to others.
2. Shares how much income they made from 1998 until the present.
3. Shows the app on their phone that shows them working out.
4. Tells everyone within an hour of meeting them their yearly income, their workout schedule and the kind of car they drive and how they could improve the German car line.
5. Considers 'midtown' 15 miles away from their home...even if Midtown or Downtown is an hour away.



6. Does not have a case on their Iphone, so they can check out their reflection at any random moment.
7. Has Mark Zuckerberg on speed dial in case their hourly posts are not up fast enough on Facebook.
8. Considers it an act of kindness because they are in public with you.
9. Dates 2 or more women at once and counts this as community service to feed the underprivileged.
10. Denies coloring their hair to hide the gray (which to me is the saddest of all).


So ladies, good luck, and help one another out when you see a helpless female stuck on a date with a Feminine Hygiene Cleansing Product... in a bag and can’t get away.