Just Another Day...

It's been a long time since I blogged.
I have had my hands full with work, a semi-relationship, among other lifestyle events and distractions.
I am still in the process of taking classes to be a foster to adopt mother.
In the meantime it seems everyone is getting pregnant again around me...that always happens to women on this journey however.


I smile for them because I am happy for them, but recently the dam broke, and I couldn't hold it back anymore.
All in one day...
Another relationship failed.
Another bill wasn't paid.
Another disappointment occurred at work.
Another drama-filled day was created by another bored housewife.
Another 5lbs was added on to my ass.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
(They would lose the gold medal to me in The Emotional Olympics.)

They say love is kind and love is patient.
(They have never met some of my family.)

They say it's always darkest before the dawn.
(They have never been in my head.)

They say if you put your problems in a pile with everyone else's you would pick yours back up and go home.
(They are correct!)

I am thankful for it all... even another day.
Happy Thanksgiving!

It's A Dirty Job, But Somebody's Got To Do It

A few weeks ago I took 3 days of parenting classes for foster and foster to adopt parents. It felt similar to a 'Scared Straight' session with a few Hallmark moments here and there, and at the end of the week we were asked, "Well, are you still up for this or is it too much for you?"

I stopped and thought long and hard about...

all the clutter from toys,
all the noises in my home,
how exhausted I will be from long nights awake, hugging and comforting,
how my clothes will be wrinkled and possibly covered in spit up,
and then I imagined someone calling me "Mommy".

The answer is so obvious.

4

There are people who come into our lives, and they are meant to be in it until our golden years.
These people are your best girlfriends.
I was blessed to meet mine when I was 10.
My single mother met hers when I was also 10.

The 4 of us have shared moments that have been funny, triumphant, and forever life changing.

1.  We have shared blue hair at The Flock of Seagulls concert.
2.  We have shared the birth of a first child and the adoption of a first.
3.  We have shared the success of careers that took one to Europe and another career that raised and supported more than one family.
4.  We have shared the heartache of losing our hearts to men and our loved ones to cancer.
5.  We have shared vacations on islands and mountains where getting lost should always be on the agenda for us 4.

And now we have started a new tradition of sharing one weekend a year with just the 4 of us.

A few weeks ago, we spent the day and night downtown meeting Betty White in an interview, drinking lots of wine and eating delicious Italian food.
We wore comfy pajamas, watched chick flicks, laughed until we cried, and ate chocolate cake standing up.

I look forward to next year's '4 Get Together'. Who knows what stories, confessions, or embarrassing moments we will share then.

Thank you ladies for being there through the blue hair, success and failures thus far, and for reminding me no matter how lost we get we can always find each other at 201 Franklin...or was it Main Street?

God, A Woman, and The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf

                                                                              PROLOGUE:
This is the story about a woman who had a dream. A dream to be a mother. Now this woman I am telling you about is no virginal Mary, but there was once The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf  who had been a huffing, and a puffing, and trying to knock down her door. But God, well God had a back door for this woman to escape...

You see there was once a woman who fell for a wolf, fell hard, like HARD, but she picked herself up, dusted herself off, and kept going.

In fact, she decided, "Screw this dating gig, I'm going to get pregnant on my own."

 Well, a year and a half later, that woman is not pregnant yet, but she never forgot about her heart's desire to be a mother. She FINALLY started to forget about The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf too.

(Random tidbit...Did you know Noe stands for Noah. Noah was the name this woman wanted to name her first son...anyway...)

This woman, who is nothing like Mary, decided to check out the foster to adopt program. It seemed like the right calling for her. She began the paperwork. She checked into all sorts of resources. And one day, the trumpets sounded and she finally received an announcement that read...

"We received your paperwork.
You will be hearing from the stork."
 You are on your way.
Before long you will have a bay-bay."

(Ok. It didn't say these exact words, but you get the gist.)

Oh how this woman was elated and excited. She was about to go announce to all the good news, when suddenly there was a ding on her computer. It was The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf!
                                 
                                                                   (insert dramatic music)

After 15 months, The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf sent this woman a message with great remorse, great passion in his tone, and a huge amount of bullshi*.

"Oh no!" Thought the woman, who was nothing like Mary, "Why now? What does he want?"

He distracted her.
He kept her mind elsewhere.
He.
He.
Well, he was full of crap.

One day the woman decided not to answer a phone call from The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf, and instead she sat still and watched a crazy, sweating, yelling preacher on television, and he was telling people in Dallas, Texas...

"God told Mary, I can make this happen without a man!!! Ladies, if he don't get you then forget him! When they leave, then clap as they go! The devil will look good and come to you when you least expect it! Stand strong and don't be swayed and when all else fails ask God for a direct sign! Stand up, and set it off!"



Well this woman caught herself sitting on the couch with her jaw dropped. She looked around as if God himself had just spoken to her, the woman who is nothing like Mary. She spent the rest of the day walking on her tip toes as if she walked too hard, the earth would crack and swallow her up. She waited for the sign from God. It came. Who knew God knew how to text message?

The Big Bad Very Hot Latino Wolf hasn't given up, but neither has the woman.
Her adoption classes begin in a few weeks, and no one is stopping her from getting her heart's desire...to be a mother.
After all, God once told a woman, "I can make it happen without man."

Twas The Night Before School

Twas the night before school when all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a facebook account.
The bathing suits were hung in the shower with care; In hopes that summer would soon be here.

The teachers were nestled all snug in their bed, while visions of classes well managed danced in their heads.
When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw to the side the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a Harley with Jax from "Sons of Anarchy".

I forgot what I was saying...

He was dressed in leather and denim, from his head to his brass knuckles.

He was sun tanned and tight, a right jolly young biker. I felt like I wanted to be a hitch hiker.
And I giggled when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a smirk on his face, soon let me know I belonged no other place.

He sprang in my dreams, gave me a smile to remember, and then away he flew like he had to be out by September.

As he revved his Harley and disappeared slowly out of sight, he yelled, "Happy School Year To All and To All Have A Hell Of A Night."

What's Your 20? I Got My Rabbit Ears On...

I would like to thank the Cloo television channel on AT&T Uverse for their run of 70's television shows last week.
I turned it into a project, recorded different programs and really took a good look at what I once admired and thought was 'real life' as a child.
The following are what I took from my big research project last week.

1. Why is Sabrina wearing a turtle neck while Jill wears a vest without a shirt or bra?

2. Why is Quincy wearing a sweater and a shirt while his date on this house boat wears a bikini?

3. Why do all the bad guys say, "Shut up" to each other while sitting in plain view of their soon to be         victim who always gets away on foot?
             * Did the bad guys get caught for lack of communication?
             * Were the cars that much slower than humans?
             * This was a time when people actually walked and looked up (no texting), so how is it we    
                never saw these bad guys in plain sight?

4.  Why did all the actresses portraying singers in the 70's sound like Kathie Lee Gifford? OR did she make all those cameos while also singing on 'Name That Tune'?

5. How did so many men with really bad acne get those acting jobs? You and I both know they would never be hired today.

6. Why did females throw in a country accent when their character was meant to be innocent or dumb?

7.  What was the actual weight of a cell phone in the 70's?    < 3lbs (I googled it.)

8.   Were men this horny and easy in the 70's? (Yikes!)

9.   Was Bosley gay? The Angels seduced every other man, but he seemed completely unaffected.

10.  How in the heck did Jed Clampett become a detective?

11. Laverne was a hoe. Shirley was a tease.

12. Why did James Evans have to get killed off and yet racist Archie Bunker outlived him and Edith?!?


                                             WOULD SOMEBODY TELL ME PLEASE.

WARNING: No Humor Nor Photos In This One

Today was my...what they now politely call the 'Well Woman Exam'.
It is in the same building as my fertility specialist that I was seeing since last July (after the quack).
I started having anxiety driving in the parking lot, just reliving all the appointments I had in the building with so much hope and eventually heartache.

I parked in the back and went around the building just so I wouldn't have to see all the couples in the fertility waiting room with their hopes and maybe heartaches too.

When I arrived on the 2nd floor, where I belonged for today, I stepped off the elevator to a waiting room of pregnant women. I gasped as if I were walking into a waiting room filled with clowns.

There they were. All ages. All races. All sizes. All beautiful.
They had swollen feet, swollen hands, puffy faces, and they were beautiful.
I wonder if they knew that?
I started crying sitting there. I did what I could to hide my tears.

I was jealous.
I was sad.
I was alone.
I was still childless.

I cried waiting for the doctor in my paper gown.

I lied there staring at a very ugly poster of external genitalia wondering why this was such a difficult task.

The saddest part of all was after I explained to the doctor why I was crying and after my exam,
she said, "Well, for next year's exam just remember we do not see pregnant patients on Fridays, so maybe you can schedule your appointment on a Friday next time."

It was like pouring salt on a wound.

I was broken hearted.
I laid there thanking God.
I went over two things I know for sure.

Before Jesus multiplied the loaves and fish, he broke the bread first.
I thanked God for breaking me.

I also know he will give me double for my trouble.
I thanked God for my trouble.

I thanked God for multiplying me, and I thanked God for doubling my blessings.