I have not written a lot lately, because this has been a rather difficult holiday season for me and most people I know. Families have been torn apart, long standing friendships have been beaten up and stressed, and schedules have been so overbooked traditions have been thrown out. It happens. As for me, I was truly hoping to be pregnant by now. Unfortunately I am not,...yet.
There's a cyst here, a cyst there, meds don't work, meds work to well causing illness, yadda yadda yadda.
Since my journey began in May I have read everywhere how this trek can be emotionally daunting, but I ignored it because I was so positive. Well, 7 months later and no successful insemination , I'm emotionally exhausted and starting to over analyze everything. As I wait for the right blood work results to coincide with the perfect ultrasound image, I'm here to officially announce I am jealous of the fertile lesbians. That's right. I said it.
You see sitting in a fertility doctor's office with all the women sitting there alone I notice they are wearing a wedding ring. Maybe once in awhile a man walks out, but he doesn't make eye contact with anyone...because we know what he was doing with his magazine in hand. However, you do see couples there, and they are the lesbians in love, they are scared, they are excited, but they always have someone there to hold their hand. How lucky they are to have someone there to hold their hand.
I'm sure there are heterosexual couples that come in together too...and it's not just another Beatles song.
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