Thumbs Up. Thumbs Down.

This is my review of various movies. These movies are not all current, but since I can not sit still for most movies in the theatre, "DVRing" and getting to move around at home is what I do. I am also dedicating this blog to my Aunt Linda since she is an avid movie goer, and I have no idea if she will agree with me on my reviews, but I know she will certainly enjoy this blog.


1. Water for Elephants - Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I have heard Robert Patrick is gorgeous and he certainly is, especially with color in his face.

No Elephants Were Hurt

2. Seven Pounds - Uhhhhh no. Although the message from the movie is certainly pertinent, and a little eery how 'before it's time it is',because lets face it texting was pretty new by the time this script was written, it was a bit too dark for me to take.


3. My Week With Marilyn - I love my Marilyn so seeing another sad portrayal of her just made my heart heavy (and this is why I didn't want to see it in public.) I do appreciate it showing how, I don't want to say controlled, but manipulated she was by others as well as a manipulator herself. I still think my girl, Marilyn, is the epitome of all women wrapped up into one.

The eyes say it all

4. Silence of the Lambs - Of course I have seen this movie, in fact as a young 22 woman, I have seen it several times, but 22 years later I have a different perspective on this film. In a sense I believe it was almost a warning for us as a generation to prepare ourselves for just how vulgar and violent humans can be and how popular it would eventually become.

5. Real Steel - Really Sucked. 

Dirty Hot Nerd Look Is Sooooo In

6. Basic Instinct - Well of course I have seen this movie and several times, but again I was in my early 20's and experience and perspective can change everything. The first item I want to say is, I sure do miss a good old fashion mystery/suspense like this one without all the gross and graphic violence of today. The second item is the way Sharon Stone is so aggressive and forward probably wouldn't phase most men now-a-days.

7. Magic Mike - Hmmmm... oh you know just another "hot" straight male stripper with rhythm, a conscience, and a need for a deep conversation...aren't there enough in the world... Sorry folks this movie sucked...blame it on my upbringing but there's just something not right about straight men stripping.

Sometimes clothes are just sexier

8.  Django - In the first five minutes I wasn't sure if I was meant to laugh or throw up, so I giggled and had dry heaves.

9. People Like Us - Uhhhhhh no. I have my own family with their own secrets and drama I don't need to watch another one. 

"See you next time at the movies."

10 Signs That You Did Your Best At Being A Teacher

10. If 3/4 of your goodbye notes and signatures from students begin with, "Momma"...

Kanye West, "Hey Mama"

 9.  If a student's mother emails you thanking you for being her child's "other mother that wasn't the stupid one..."



 8.  If a student's mother texts you thanking you for helping raise her "son to be a better man..."

Tupac, "Dear Mama"

7.  If one of your 6th graders you had to kick out of your program continues on as a 7th and 8th grader and always sings 'Dear Mama' by Tupac, when he sees you, "checks" on you, and must hug you 3 times before he can leave middle school on the last day crying and thanking you for believing in him when others gave up...



 6.  If your biggest pain in the butt for 3 years  walks up to you at the end of the 8th grade dance, with big tears in his eyes, and says, "I can't believe I have to say bye to you. It went by too fast..."



 5.  If one of your girls tells you, "I will find you a man and he will deserve you..."

The Judds, "Mama He's Crazy"

4.  If your quietest student thanks you for giving her a voice...




3.  If every 13-15 year old who says goodbye to you also says, "Thank you for being real with me and letting me be me..."

Sammy Davis Jr., "I've Gotta Be Me"

 2.  If your air conditioner in your T-Building breaks and it is 82 degrees in your classroom, and the kids keep coming in to spend the last day with you even though they are sweating their butts off...



 1.  If the first thing you say on the last day of school to a fellow teacher is, "God I can't wait until we can start drinking tonight..."

Joe Nichols, "Tequila Makes her Clothes Fall Off"

...Then You Did Your Best At Being A Teacher This Year!

Happy Summer Time Everybody!

Lessons Learned At A Destination Wedding

Some of these life lessons are a bit obvious and then there are those people who just don't get it.

1. Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

2. Pack a spare pair of sunglasses.

3. Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

4. When visiting tropical islands pack sunscreen.

5. Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

6. If you smoke, then bring your own cigarettes...so you won't be caught walking around the reception taking other people's cigarettes.

7. Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

8. When insulted by a Canadian go ahead and curse him out and tell him off, all he will do is stand there in shock.

If I say it's me, then it's me!

9.  Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

10. Don't ask the bride to do anything, ANYTHING on her wedding day except get married.

11. Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

12. Do take pictures of others enjoying exscursions and then tag yourself in those photos. (Really? Who is going to challenge if that blur is you parasailing?)

13.  If your mother paid for your trip, then do not brag about the extra money you paid to sit in first class for two hours from Houston to Miami.

14. Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

15. Do pay attention to basic spanish spoken around you, because it does pay off.

16. Oh hey, Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

17. Last but not least, if you do wear white to someone else's wedding, don't take pictures at the alter and post them on a social media pretending it is your wedding. Seriously? Have some class.

Just The 3 Of Us

                                                      Dedicated To My Mother and Grandmother

My strength. 

Happy Mothers Day...

...To the woman who was determined enough to walk away from misery into a life of raising me alone and still having her own career.

...To the woman strong enough to tell me "No".

1 of us is always making a goofy face.

...To the woman just soft enough to spoil me.        

...To the woman tired enough to sleep through my high school parties (Thank ya Lord!).

...To the woman smart enough to teach me to see and treat all people the same. 

...To the woman who is twisted (just enough) to allow me to call her Mommie Dearest ever since the Joan Crawford "No More Wire Hangers!" era arrived. 

See, what I tell ya?

If I have ever loved you, forgiven you, or taught you how to treat others better, then you should tell Mommie Dearest, 

Happy Mother's Day too. 

Where I come from.

Mom,

I have a soft spot for...

... old people.         

 ... babies. 

 ... gray hair

... red lipstick

... shoe shopping

... cooking with fat

... fishing

... dancing

Mom was a cancer survivor for several years & was able to make it to my Teacher of the Year dinner. 

... an occasional cigarette

... speaking my mind

... not being worried about what others think about me

... saying my favorite curse word, sh**

and it's all because of you! 

I miss you, Mom! 

Happy Mother's Day!

My last birthday "celebration" with Mom...PS - She would call me by my first & middle name for posting this picture. 

Ode To An English Rose

Some people say I have commitment issues, because I'm not married yet.
I say they are wrong!

I've been in a "committed relationship" that lasted almost 17 years.
We were together in thick times and in thin times.
They took their bad day out on me and I took mine out on them.
We laughed together, well kind of. We cried together, definitely.

My most recent "committed relationship" has lasted almost 8 years.
It's not the same kind of love and bond as my 17 year "committed relationship" but it's just as good and it has it's own personality.

It takes a lot to be in these "committed relationships."
They are time consuming.
They are tedious.
They also seem to be a lot of me giving and a lot of them taking.

Wellllll...
In hindsight, they gave a lot.


They gave you smelly farts in the middle of laying next to you.

They gave you Eskimo kisses when you weren't looking.

They pawed and put their hands on you when they needed to make contact.

They gave you Catfish lips when you sat or laid next to them.

They gave you jockey run when you would jump out from behind the door to scare them.

They gave you Rodeo Dog when you played 'Christmas Stick' on them.

They gave you long droolies when your dinner smelled much better than theirs.

They gave you excellent cussings when you deserved them and when you did not.

They gave you chattering teeth to tell you, "It's cold in here Damn it!"

They gave you sad puppy dog eyes with their head on your knee when they felt you might not be understanding their immediate needs.

They gave you an alarming bark when evil garage doors opened or dumpster trucks were threatening you with danger.

They gave you bunny chases during their sleep to let you know all was taken care of in dream land.

They let you run around the couch chasing them.

They let you walk under their legs if that was the shortest route.

They let you bite their jowls when they wrestled with you.

They let you get a good face whoopin with their long pointed tale.

They let you know that any bird a minute away was not going to harm you or anyone you loved.

They let you love them...
...and they let you know you were loved back.

For my Cali-Mari...You were the first English I loved. 

I Wonder Wonder Who Wrote The Book of Love.

I wonder why most Science teachers are so religious. Isn’t that a conflict of beliefs?

I wonder why it’s safe for me to get x-rays but the x-ray technicians run and hide behind the walls before pushing the button.

I wonder why stuffed animals are the only toy ‘acceptable’ to love for all ages.

I wonder why so many men have smaller thighs and calves than women…Did the  same creator who made male birds prettier plan this too?

 

Ok. Ok. They're not small but they sure are pretty. 

I wonder why so many of my “Christian” friends stopped hanging out with me when I tried artificial insemination. Are their ovaries too good to hang out with my slow ones?

I wonder how homeless people always have access to cardboard and black permanent markers.

I wonder what it’s like to be the man of the house, to have the weight of the world on your shoulder, to be the official spider killer, official lawn mower, and tire and oil changer.

I wonder what it’s like to be a real woman, to have a human growing inside of you and then come out of you, look at you, and have the nerve to scream.

I wonder if woodpeckers get headaches.  

I wonder what it’s like to wear a bikini & feel the sun on your stomach and lower back.

I wonder what it’s like to be athletic, to perform, run, and stretch your body to the max in front of the others cheering for you & your opponent at the same time. 

               Nike has a line of these type of ads for all the body parts that women love to hate about themselves. 

I wonder what it's like for a man to look at you and say he wants to spend the rest of his life...the... rest... of...his... life... with... you.

I wonder what it's like to look at a man and think...'I want to spend the...rest...of...my...life with him.'

I wonder what completely bald men put as hair color on their driver's license.

Hello Lover!

I wonder what it's like to eat chocolate chip cookie dough and not feel guilty. 

I wonder what my dog thinks when I smell worse than her. "Thatta gurl!"or "You're gross!"

"40" Days and "40" Nights of Lent

For Lent I give up something every year.

Oh don't worry I am not perfect, but I do give up one, sometimes two things, items, habits, etc. for 40 days. 

I've been asked why do I do this and I guess my answer is always, to show Jesus I love him too.
It's easier to sacrifice something for him than for my own good. 

However, this time I want my 40 days to teach me something and maybe another, so I as I go through Lent this year, I am writing about my days as they occur. I will be writing about my days, experiences, lessons learned and/or any epiphany I might have...here we go...

I cant' give up facebook it's my room mate. 

Day 1 of 40 (Ash Wednesday)

I gave up sugar, sweets, and flour for lent. I did this because I love Jesus, and because I feel yucky.

My reflection for day 1 is addictions sneak up on us and our withdrawals make us angry. 

No sugar. No flour today.

Day 2 of 40 (Valentine's Day)
Yep. I still hate Valentine's. 

Day 5 of 40

My "go to foods" are a bad freakin' habit! I'm eating more than I should because I'm trying to feed the hurt, pain, frustration, & sugar free taste I NEED! I've got zits, fever blisters, and carbuncles. I feel like an ogre from a Shakespearean play!  Jesuuuuuus!

This is me...no really. 

Day 6 of 40

A part of lent is self discovery and today I discovered that I learned a lot more from my mother's selfless acts than her lectures or words, so I need to watch my actions & what they are teaching people. 

Day 7 of 40

The urge to eat sugar is getting easier to let go. I think I'm thinking clearer because I see so easily how people will take advantage of your forgiving and kind heart. Oh... and I ate flour. Ooops. 

Day "I don' freaking know" (day 11)

Everyone is eating dessert around me and somehow I'm gaining weight! Jesus, don't let go of me now!

Reflection or thankful moment is...while watching the Academy Awards I am so thankful Barbara Streisand isn't responsible for EVER picking out my accessories. 

No mam!

Day 12 - 

Looking back at last night's Academy Awards Party at my mother's house, I think it is pretty cool that I know women from ages 23 to 65 that can all be in a room and communicate and laugh together. 

Day 15 - 

I don't know about any clarity or reflection crap, but I do know you're never too old to enjoy and laugh out loud at Disney World, never too old to lay your head in your Momma's lap or on her shoulder, and you're never too old to need to be told you are beautiful!

One of the best ways to relax. 

Day 18 -
If I get to wake today that means I get to keep doing what I love & be with who I love. If I don't wake up then I've done all I can do and loved all that I was meant to love. It's a win-win situation. - Miguel Ruiz (What a lovely way to look at life.)

Day 24 -
Being without sugar has cleared my complexion and caused my hair to grow. Cool!!!

Day 26 -
I completely understand why my female dog wants to lunge & grab a bone from another female dog...even when it isn't hers.

It is a metaphor. 

Day 28 -
It may be flattering for a split moment to hear "You're the one that got away", but I would rather hear, "I'm not going to let you get away."

Day 29 -
Having money does make dieting easier...if you've ever dieted you know what I mean.

Day 30 -
I just found out lent is NOT always 40 days and 40 nights! WTH?

Sorry about #30. 

Day 31 -
Every time I see or hear a man rev his engine at a stop light or on the road, I just smile and think, "Oh honey, I'm sorry you can't get it up anymore."

Day 31 PM -
"God save us from good looking men who wear really big turquoise rings." (said to me and I agree.)

Day 32 EPIPHANY -
Live in the moment and be thankful for the ordinary.

Day 34 -
You really can get over someone and lose the butterflies, but you have to face them once again to prove it to yourself rather than keep them as an untouchable memory. (Oh wow...that's deep.)

Day 35 -
Hearing what a great catch I am, yet again, combined with, 'You're going to meet someone who deserves you.' is equivalent to telling someone how good their cooking is and when offered a second serving you reply, 'Dear God, No!'

Day 36 EPIPHANY -
Everyone should allow themselves time to spend the day with their dog and see the world through his/her eyes... like seeing how the smallest events can be exciting (The garbage got picked up! The garbage got picked up!) and the importance of barking (expressing ones self) then napping immediately afterwards. It is a pretty good way to live. I think some people call it retirement.

I wish I could relax like that. 

Day 37 -
Barbara Jordan was a true pioneer

Day 38 -
If the word ATHLETIC can fit across your ass in sweat pants, then there's a really good chance you are NOT athletic. (Why did I buy those sweats???)

Day 39 EPIPHANY - (Palm Sunday)
God puts a drive, a desire, or a passion in each of us to make us do what we need to do and go where it is we need to go. We must all pay attention to it and not ignore it.

There are some sweet faces waiting to be adopted in other countries.

Day 40 -
I'm not sure which is more painful, when someone falls off the pedal stool or when you push their ass off.

Day 43 EPIPHANY - (Maundy Thursday)
When people become consumed with what others think, they become a lot less fun.

Day 44 - (Good Friday)
There's something special when you talk about heaven and life with a parent, something special you didn't realize you were missing out on until it happens.

Day 44 PM - (Good Friday)
Whether you believe in reincarnation, resurrection or just this one life, you must wake up each day Thanking God that you are who you are and all that you have, because no matter what you believe this is the one time you will ever be you.

Day 45 - (Holy Saturday)
It is simple and some kind of wonderful to sit in a room with loved ones, who accept you as you are, talk without judgement, without fear,  and with nothing but love.

Day 46 AM -
I've lost 5 lbs and gone down one dress size. Hmmmm...

Day 46 - Happy Easter!
It is finished.