These Are My Words Unless I Say Otherwise

Here are some of my poems I have published elsewhere…Feel free to share your opinion with me.

                            Elise (Inspired by a withering sculpture named Elise)
Pieces of me fall away when I remember asking you to stay.
I'm like beautiful Elise just wanting your love without the deceit.
Blue skies and clouds are just part of the trek.
God, please don't let my heart turn into a wall that is a complete wreck.

Elise, Downtown Greensboro

                                                           Two Pieces
Imagine two blank canvases craving color but both scared to allow the artist to begin.
Once you begin you can never turn back.
One canvas yearning obvious colors that are in your face, daring you not to enjoy them.
The other is comfortable in melodic subtle tones expecting flattery,
Both sharing a quiet confidence.
Two blank canvases with all the hope and potential any one could desire, but concerned with not being unique.
Along comes an artist who has so much art inside of them it's dripping at the fingertips waiting to be unleashed.
And it is unleashed…two masterpieces, beauty all of their own, complementing one another side by side.

Watercolors 

Music
It helps me love you
Sometimes it keeps me from leaving
Helps me to remember the good
times and why you were worth it
The words say it for me and the
rhythm acts it out
Cries my tears when I just won't and
makes me strong when I am weak
Tells my story when I didn't even
know how to write
Allows me to forgive, to forge on
Music

Playlist

48 Plus 14 days

I always post on my birthday about life lessons and experiences.

This year I was out of town… which is weird to say because I was in Houston, but since my last birthday that is out of town now. 

Recently, I have been writing a lot of poetry under another name on social media so that is what I have been cheating on my blog with for an outlet. 

Here is what I had to say about turning 48 as my poem…

48 Years =

0 Husbands

1 Pregnancy

Enough lovers

1 College Degree

4 Surgeries

4 Best Friends

Enough Jobs

2 Careers

2 Cities

5 Countries

5 Islands

3 Great Loves

So much more to do and see…Happy Birthday To Me!

20/20

You want to know what hindsight is? 

Hindsight is your own life kicking you in the ass.

Hindsight 20/20 is a polite way to say,

 "Wow! Did you fuck up, and you had the nerve to think you were right all along! HAHAHAHA!

Sincerely, Your Life"

EVERY SINGLE serious relationship I have been in, the man has reached back to me (between 3 to 9 months later) to politely, "Check on you." 

Isn't that thoughtful? 

Uh, no. 

Eventually that "Check on you" text or phone call turns into a conversation that leads to him saying, "I messed up. You were the best thing that happened to me" or "You really did deserve so much better." 

Well let me say to any future men who could or will have their ass handed to them by hindsight…save your text messages and phone calls.

I know I am wonderful.

I know I am amazing.

I know I am strong.

I know I deserve better, that is why you are calling me, and I'm not calling you.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a funny thing.

We hold on to it like it's gold, yet when we receive it we forget its value so easily.

Personally, I forgive way too easily. I have the scars on my heart and my memory to prove it. That's ok though, because it must be good karma that I am creating for myself, right?

 

I wonder if I forgive easily because my memory erases the pain. I don't know.  I wonder if I forgive because I understand we are all just trying to stay above water and gain the love we desire. It's funny, or it's narcissistic of me, when people hold a grudge towards me and hide forgiveness in their back pocket, because I often think there is something really wrong with them to still be holding on to my "crimes."  

 

Maybe I'm not worthy of your forgiveness.
Maybe, just maybe, you are not worthy of mine, but I'll still forgive you anyway, because I know what you are capable of.
I somehow see the good in you through all the games in you.