Random Thoughts From A White Girl

Yes, you read the title correctly, and I'm portraying the white girl this time.  As insane as some of these thoughts appear they have actually crossed my mind. I will leave it up to you to imagine my expressions that go along with them. Although I tried to recruit the random thoughts from some of my female friends none of them were quite willing to let go of their private thoughts. I completely get that, so I'm taking one for the team for your entertainment and laughter. 

1. I wonder if there is enough change in my car for a Starbucks run.

2. Do other women consider prostitution for their food addiction?

3. Hmmm I bet this cashier has no idea why I am really buying all these batteries.

4. Why do white girls get such a bad rap for being freaky in the sheets?

5. That guy is hot! Wait...a...minute...that is a woman! Wait...a...minute...does that make me a lesbian?!? 

6. Did God forget about me?

7. I hate this...forgetting how to walk down the stairs in the middle of walking down the stairs.

8. I wonder what it's like to be her.  Never mind she has some jacked up feet. 

9. Am I ever going to have sex again? And if so will I remember how? Oh, God, what if I forget what to do? And what if I finally get to have sex again, but I'll be too old and my knees creak during it. That's it! I have to go work out!

10.  Do they know their baby is ugly? Of course not, because all babies are beautiful. Right? 

They're Only Words

Words. 

Words can make or break us.

 I have spent my summer so far studying a lot about the subconscious mind, the conscious mind, and how to help, heal, and guide not only myself but also others younger than me. 

The biggest lesson so far:

Watch what you say to yourself and about yourself. 

For example, saying every day, "Oh I'm so tired. I just don't know how I can do anything after work." 

STOP IT! 

If you feel tired, that is understandable, but instead of reminding yourself over and over, tell yourself, "I'm energized. I can accomplish _________ tonight." If you keep saying this to yourself it is going to be amazing how your energy turns around. 

I am speaking from experience. 

You see, once in awhile I still wake up in excruciating pain from my nerves and muscles healing. It is still the kind of pain that can make me cry and scream. I lay there, and for me I get spiritual, and I start thanking God for my strong, healthy, pain free body.

Every day, in pain or not, I go through my day thanking God for my pain free and disease free body. When people ask, "Are you in pain?” now I just shake my head yes, because I am literally refusing to say the words out loud. 

I realized that was such a great habit for myself, and patted myself on the back, BUT THEN... I caught myself saying, "Oh me and my chemo brain forgot or got confused." 

Uhhhhhhh. NO MAM!

Why in the world, would anyone want to keep reminding him or herself of enduring chemo? Instead, when I forget something, I'm going to return to saying, "Oh that's me, being a blond again." 

And hey, you never know, my hair may actually grow in blond.

Too much?

Blog homework:

Try this with your words.

Keep a journal. 

In fact, keep a thankful journal, and do like I do, write in it in the morning before you leave the house. Take your oral and written words and create the kind of day you want. 

If it doesn't work for you then the only thing you wasted your time on was being grateful, and what is so bad about that?