10 Things Wrong & 10 Things Right With The Grammy's

10 Things Wrong With The Grammy's

 1.  Pharrell's hat… is he a part time Forest Ranger... I can't

 2.  Kendrick Lamar is still considered a new artist

 3.  LL Cool J's hat…year after year

 4.  Darth Vader's illegitimate sons showing up to sing with Pharrell

 5.  Everyone holding his or her breath when 'Blurred Lines' was up next for performance

 6.  Paul McCartney's Members Only looking jacket which was probably designed by his daughter & probably cost half of what my car did 

 7.  Watching Willie, Kris, and Merle was like watching molasses down a tree (PS I love Willie and Merle so this was hard to express but somebody had to do it)

 8.  Steven Tyler in public again without underwear...to the left to the left… literally

 9.  Yoko's fake boobs...so not a John Lennon vibe

10.  Okay, Pink it's time to return to performing on the ground, your audience's neck is over this phase

10 Things Right With The Grammy's 

 1.  My Queen Beyonce's opening performance

 2.  Chicago

 3.  Robin Thicke classing it up

 4.  Taylor Swift wearing a hair style her own age

 5.  Same Trailer Different Park

 6.  Julia Robert's boobs and dress...way to go mommy of 3

 7.  Okay, Pharrell's smile

 8.  Pink's awesome stomach muscles 

 9.  Target commercial with JT

10.  Queen Latifah with her beautiful self

Bonus: That straight white boy in a velour suit rapping about same sex love right before 30 couples get married in the audience with Madonna, The Queen Hag, singing to them... God Bless America! 

Little Granny Gatlin You've Inspired Me

"Don't put that in your mouth, it's poisonous!" 

"Don't let the dog eat that, it's poison!"

"Don't lick that. It'll kill you!"

Since man started off as a boy, we have been told don't put poison or poisonous items in our mouths. They will kill us. So I can't help but wonder, why when we receive cancer as a diagnosis, the first thing we do is jump to put poison in our bodies. Also, how is it that when people first get diagnosed with cancer, they don't act, look, or feel ill, but when they are given medicine to remedy the cancer in their bodies, that is when all hell breaks loose and they are violently ill. Chemotherapy isn’t called the 'Red Devil' for nothing.

This is not common sense. This, ladies and gentleman, is however, Western Medicine. So what can we learn from this? Well, first, I say we keep asking questions, and demand some answers.  For example, why is there a Vitamin B (B-17 to be exact) out there but not allowed to be sold to US patients yet is known for destroying and self destructing cancer cells? It even has it's own recipe books in other countries.  Also, what are the Eskimos and other tribes of the Northwestern regions doing or eating off the land, that we are not, and how is it keeping them from the cancer death toll or even the disease itself?  

In less than 72 hours of research I have discovered more reasons why NOT to do chemo rather than why a patient should. My Uncle Dan told me years ago between his health battles, "There's a cure out there, but there's no money, no business in the actual healing of people." That line haunts me... it motivates me too.

And maybe our ancestors didn't live to be a 100, actually mine lived to be 102 years old.  They lived off the land, off the animals raised by their neighbors, they were physically active, and didn't sweat the small stuff. Real shit got real attention, and that was that. They didn't find out they were ill and then added poison to their body that may or may not cause a recurrence. They kept working, kept eating, and kept moving. 

There are a lot of rocking chairs in heaven. 

 Grandma Gatlin believed in staying physical even if that included rocking in her rocking chair every single day as she got older and cleansed her colon twice a year. She ate vegetables, fish, and fruits. She also didn't hold her tongue. What needed to be said was said, in other words, she didn’t hold on to the emotional poisons either...stress be gone. 

There's a lot to be said about listening to what we were told by our elders so remember, "Don't put that in your mouth! It’ll kill ya before it saves ya!" 

Oh Girl, He and I Go Way Back

Apparently, when one is diagnosed with cancer we are suppose to suddenly become this spiritual and religious being with an epiphany of all that is God.

Ummmm. Yeah. Okay?

 Listen, I am not about to give that bitch, cancer, any credit for getting me close to God.

God and I go way back. For example, here's a little glimpse of our relationship.

 We were first introduced at the age of seven when he saved my life.   I was meant to be on the boat that accidentally killed my grandfather.

I got to know God real fast when he abruptly took my mother out of an abusive marriage and literally placed her on the road to a life long career where she would later meet her best friend for life, who ironically (maybe not), became my God Mother.

He and I hung out a lot in a hospital chapel before and after he brought my Uncle Terry out of brain surgery, from a softball accident, without any physical or mental disabilities.

I became real familiar, in hindsight, with God when my girlfriends and I did way too many stupid things all through high school & we did not end up addicted, in jail, or dead.

God and I sat all alone in a hospital waiting room when he saved my mother's life after complaining about her knee, which lead to an emergency heart surgery.

I realized God was always around when my Uncle Dan lived with a positive HIV status for over twenty years, beat lung cancer, and went on to live another five years.

God and I were reintroduced when he used my mother's opinion to save my Boo Boo's life, which led to his heart surgery at 2 months old.

Like a pouting and punished child, I followed God's will when he removed a bad relationship out of my life, and held me down the path of becoming a teacher.

I felt God's love when I walked across that stage and was the first in my family to graduate college and follow my dream.

Similar to a parent, God held me together and gave me the quiet strength I needed when I laid next to my grandmother in her hospital bed and held her hand on my 40th birthday. 

God hugged me when he allowed me, along with everyone who loved John, to say goodbye to him last August.

I say thanks to God on a daily basis before I step out of bed each and every day for waking me up.

So you see, don't give, something as dirty and despicable as cancer any credit for anyone being close or knowing God. Instead, know this...he and I are getting to know more about that bitch, cancer, and we've decided her time is up. Since he and I have talked, sat together, argued, disagreed, loved, hugged, broke up/made up and finally appreciated one another, well now we're teaming up and kicking butt starting this week.  Cancer is out of here. 

Besides, God and I...we go way back... and we have a lot of plans left to live out loud.

Marilyn's Face Says It For Me

I wanted my first blog of the New Year to be funny, inspiring, and meaningful. You know... life changing. However, I have nothing nice to say. Well, I probably do, but the transition I'm going through right now is making my funny, inspiring, meaningful and life changing words a bit arduous to group together. So, I'm going to do the next best thing and quote some of the funniest, most inspiring, meaningful, and yes life changing (good or bad) words I've heard recently.

"Even Jesus rested."

"Satan and The Ego is the same thing." 

"Interesting stories never come from people who had it easy."

"Every lifeguard knows a man can't be saved until he stops trying to save himself."

"So do you have any boob left?"

"There are two kinds of fruit: fruit of the spirit (peace, joy, love, generosity, self control) and the fruit of evil (suffering, fear, revenge, selfish, judgmental)."

"Sometimes our problems seem to be as big as the shadows but usually turn out to be really quite little."

"What if the only resolution you made was to love yourself more?"

"We can use your belly fat for your new breast if that is necessary."

"Well, hello, Ms. Cancer Free."

"Your cancer was more aggressive than we thought."

"Get a prayer chair."

"You can judge a tree by the fruit that it bares."

"Her cancer isn't that serious a prognosis. I'm hearing about it. Why do I need to call her?"

"God wants you to solely depend on him. He just wants to trust you with what you have- and then it all comes together."

"We wear the ruby slippers all the time. We just forget to look down and see them."

"Grits and Grace...the two things you get on the side that you never have to ask for."

"What you accept is all you'll ever get!"

   "Dear God, thank you for being there when nobody else was."

* We made it to another year, another day that is at least one thing I know we should all be inspired by.