Dear 2013,
You were one strange and wild ride. You and I
began the very first day with strep throat and the second day we had a break up
with an insane chef. By the end of the first week I was preparing for my stepmother's
funeral. She is now in heaven.
Your month of love led to a month of frustration
as one of my best buds told me how he really felt about me. (Insert Miguel singing Frustration) Next, your month of green and spring break caused me to pause, sit still and think. Yikes! I
continued to question my own decision-making with life in general but kept working on the adoption
process until all paper work was lost by the adoption agency. The month
of green was starting to make me feel blue.
For my 44th birthday, I got the flu. You also brought back the 'Big Bad Latino Wolf' who tried to hook up with me
again. Luckily,
my rose-colored glasses fell off and so did he... right off his pedestal. Thank
God that trip is finally over!
In May, Shirley from 'What's Happening' was
reincarnated. One of the best girlfriends I've ever had gave birth to a
beautiful little girl who happens to have Shirley's fro.
Next, I was off to the Dominican Republic to play
maid of honor for my friend who had once told her boyfriend he better propose
so they could be my future child's God parents. After returning from the Dominican I went on an interview not because I wanted to leave but because I thought I needed to leave.
Unfortunately, you had us say goodbye to one of the sweetest dogs to ever walk this earth. Our English rose, Cali left us. She is now in heaven.
In June, Mommie Dearest was off to Paris with her
bestie, and this inspired me to go after things I've always wanted. I began exercising and eating healthy like a crazy lady to go after those things I wanted, but this would pay off in another way down the road.
Flag day
was celebrated with the birth of my Jazzy Monkey, my little brother's first-born
child and my niece.
I also got the best news ever, my boss resigned and
moved on to another school. Woo Hoo! God kept me at this school for a
reason...I just know it is for something bigger.
For our independence month together I visited my
first Hookah Bar and loved it. Thanks to your hot summer
temperatures I burned myself at the pool and found a lump during one of my self
lotioning routines. The doctor told me last December it was scar tissue. No
worries.
However, I said goodbye to my Aunt Elizabeth. I can
not watch Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer and see home chair hair dryers without
thinking of her. She is now in heaven.
The hottest month of the year was met with my
little brother graduating with his Master's degree. He is an amazing young man.
In less than 5 years, he graduated from college with a bachelor's degree,
married, buried his older brother, buried his mother, sold a house, bought a
house, became a father, and now has his master's degree to become a principal.
Can you tell I'm proud?
We also celebrated Mommie Dearest's 65th birthday.
I thank God every day that she is still alive and here with me. He has truly
blessed me with that woman.
Unfortunatley, we ended the month saying goodbye to our dear JW. I
can not see the weather channel or coupons without thinking of him. It scares me to think he is really gone. I can't admit it to anyone,
but I can't accept his death. He is now in heaven.
Over this summer, I told God..."It is in your
hands. You want me to be a mother. You take the lead. I'm pooped from
trying." After all I was taking care of my physical health and being very
serious about it for the first time in a long time. God would work his plan for
me one way or another. I had faith!
Well wouldn't you know it, in September, I found
out that God had another plan for me. I received an unexpected text about donor
embryos for me to carry my own adopted child. What a miracle! Now time to get a check up, and besides that stupid scar
tissue has gotten bigger, and when I called the gyno for an appointment they said they could not see me
until December 27th. Uhhhhh No! This has to be done now since the couple
said I would be a good choice to adopt their embryos. I also need to shake this
third visit from Strep Throat. It just won't go away, and it is making me so
dang tired.
October, October, October you came with some scary
shit! I still can't shake this strep/breathing problem. I wish tired was
the word to describe me. It is more like exhausted, fatigued, weary, etc. As we
all know these are the prices to pay to be a teacher.
I gained the role of God mommy which came in an ironic and uncomfortable event all
in one day.
There was a young (and appeared to be in good shape) teacher who worked with me. She suffered from migraines too. She had a stroke
during surgery. She is now in heaven.
Halloween. Eeeek! You were one scary MoFo! The "scar
tissue" turned into a mass in addition to an inflamed lymph node. As of today, I
know in my gut my life has just changed forever. I also know God hasn't left me. I know
this in such a deep way it could never be put into words. However, I would
never expect those that I loved so much to be the ones to leave me.
November you were a lifetime of lessons in one
sweep. You and Robbie brought Tony Robbins into my world, where I discovered a
lot about myself. What I am capable of believing and desiring. You also gave me
a new title, Cancer patient.
I refused to own it.
I refused to say it was mine.
I was determined to listen to God, my body, and only positive thoughts and
prayers.
November, you brought me an enlightenment that was touched and blessed
by God. You brought someone home safely from Mexico. You brought him and my other familia, or
at least a part of them to me again. You brought me true friends, and removed the
less sincere ones. You gave me strength during the birthday month of one of the
strongest women I know, my grandmother Inez. You gave me blessings and favor
from God I didn't even know how to ask for. I'm thankful!
Oh, December. You can be a cold month. The coldest
for some. For me it was a mixture of emotions, heartbreak, and forgiveness.
I had the cancer
removed completely from my body.
I had the love of some amazing people shine on
me.
I also had my heart broken.
I had family who refused to contact me during my
recovery from surgery. They lived less than five miles away from me and would
not even text me. I had friends who refused to even acknowledge
me...healthy or not.
People who said they would "be there" I have not even seen.
December, you have been painfully cold, but this
too shall pass, and I will, I must, keep a positive attitude and say thanks for
the timing of cancer's visit. There is never a good time to receive the diagnosis of cancer, but mine was Christmas time.
Maybe the timing was to slow me down.
Maybe it was the universe's way to show me who cares and who just can't.
Either way I kicked cancer's ass, and I'm not through yet.
So over all, 2013, you've been nice, you've been ugly, you've been joy filled, you've been heart breaking, you've been a blessing, BUT it is time for you to go!
Thanks for the memories,
Me
This entry is dedicated to those who made 2013 easier to survive.
God
Mommie Dearest
Aunt Linda
Robbie
Cam
Reiko
DelRose
Cortney
Joey, Karen, and JR
UT
Tiffanie
Toni Lynn
Mr. A
Coach M
Vanessa
and all of my amazing doctors
