So I guess looks really aren't everything???

Monday
Doctor: "Your uterus looks beautiful."

Wednesday
Doctor: "Your uterus looks good."

Today
Doctor: "Your uterus is, uhhhh, confused."

I know I have had this in depth conversation before with the men I've dated, but the subject was just me and not my uterus.

Everything baby is delayed for a month while my uterus 'finds itself.'

Timing is actually EVERYTHING.

Well doc, I try.

I've never been so excited to give blood and deal with shots in my entire life! Last Friday, I got to start my hormone stimulation injections, and although I had to comfort the people who were trying to help me with the shots, all is going well. I just mix up my meds, grab a piece of meat (that's me) and shoot. I can't believe this is me, giving myself shots, and not falling over or fainting.

Now for the next two weeks, I have to go in every three days for blood work and ultrasounds, neither are very comfortable on the norm, but the results are making my returning visits an easy come back.  All my right hormone levels are increasing, my ultrasounds are coming back 'beautiful'. How often does a girl here this, "Your uterus is beautiful." (blush blush). "Well doc, I try."

If all goes well, then I might be ready to begin implantation within a week, and let the best swimmers win!

Yes.

Have I officially gone crazy when I colored my hair dark brown after being a blond for 39 years? YES.
   No wait...

Have I officially gone crazy when I painted every room in my house a different color? YES.
No wait...

   Have I officially gone crazy when I signed up for on-line dating and found 
   one guy who was married and the other was a sociopath? YES.
   No wait...

Have I officially gone crazy when I had my back fence painted like a beach scene? YES.
No wait...

     Have I officially gone crazy when I saw this sign...and went inside to ask  
     the HEB Manager if he had a parking spot for ME, because I was single,  
     childless, and having a really, really bad day?

YES.

Mother Knows Best

I try really hard not to be a female dog (you know what I mean). I try really hard to keep my opinion to myself which has taken years of practice. I try really hard to treat people the way I would want to be treated or wouldn't mind being treated. HOWEVER, it seems like the more I work on this and the more 'punches' I take, the more attract people who want to fuss (you know what I mean) with me, so I just smile and fake it.


Do not misunderstand please. I do not under any circumstances believe or think people are out to get me or they do things on purpose because it is me. It's just a matter of fact that we, people in general, tend to focus on challenging events when we work to be a better person. Kind of like being on a diet, and you are invited to 2 baby showers, a wedding, and a birthday party all in that same week. Lots of temptation.



My mother raised me with her number one life rule being the Golden Rule. As a teenager, I got it but I was pretty much a little shitaki (you know what I mean), so I didn't always apply the Golden Rule. As I got older I realized the importance of it. HOWEVER, like many people, I'm still trying to figure out what the rule is called when people continuously make you the villain. When people apparently have nothing else to do with their time but create stories about you, lies about you, cause entire families to hurt you. What rule is that exactly? The "I'm so insecure/miserable I must make other people have drama in their life" rule.

A part of me really wants to be the female dog (you know what I mean) that has been portrayed in stories.
A part of me really wants to tell people my opinion ALL THE TIME.
A part of me really wants to fuss (you know what I mean) with people right back.

BUT the other life rule my mother taught me, 2 wrongs do not equal 1 right.

Gardening

I love my life...not because it's perfect (absolutely not) but because I know that where ever God plants me I bloom. Every situation, even the smallest of them, is a learning lesson and I have grown from all of them, so I love my life...weeds, blooms, and all.

I love that I cry every year when it's the last day of school when I say goodbye to those hormonal aliens.

I love that my corgi is so fat and when she tries to jump on the bed and misses she moves the mattress with her body weight.

I love that life has taught me to be more patient.

I love that being clumsy has not become life threatening.

I love that my grandmother taught me how to take care of others while you are still pissed at them.

I love that my Boo Boo still lets me call him that.

I love that the most random people in my life let me know when they are thinking of me.

I love that I don't have a poker face, that I sometimes it does get me in trouble and I'm glad I never learned how to hide it...it's part of my charm.




I love that my mother still has a best friend that she can call in her happiest and darkest hours, and that I learned how precious friendships are from the two of them.

I love that I was once a home owner and that I cried every day packing to leave it, because my home meant so much to so many people.

I love knowing that no matter what the future brings I know in my heart I will be a parent, whether it is through IUI, IVF, or adoption, because I know how strong a person this life has made me and how much love I am truly capable of.

I love my life... weeds, blooms, and all.