25 x 2

I'm turning 50 this year, or as I prefer to say, 5 for the tenth time, 10 for the fifth time, or 25 for the second time. In honor of this moment, allow me to share a few thoughts.

When I was five years old, I thought:
the roots that I saw below the grass and underground were parts of the devil,
our skin/body was made of sand, 
every body was scared of their fathers like me,
my mother was the most beautiful, talented, and smartest woman alive,
I would be a teacher,
Elvis was the best,
boys were weird,
my grandparents were the safest people I could be around,
my sister was who I wanted to act like and look like,
my uncles were the two funniest men on earth. 

At ten years old, I believed:
sweat would never stop pouring from my body,
being the tallest among my friends was a complete curse,
my boobs would never stop growing,
I met the funniest and weirdest girl named Cammie,
I hated looking at myself in the mirror. 

During my time as a twenty-five year old, I knew it all.
During my time as a twenty-five year old, I didn't have a clue what the hell I was doing.

Beginning my second act, at 50 years old,  here is what 
I KNOW FOR SURE:
the devil has roots all around me,
my body sometimes feels like sand,
fathers are scared,
my mother really is the most beautiful, talented and smartest woman alive,
being a teacher is so cool,
Elvis has a beautiful voice, but I totally get the Beatles,
boys are DEFINITELY weird,
my grandparents were the safest and the grandest place to be,
being my own person and looking like me, is really great,
my uncles were/are still hysterical,
sweat continues to pour from my body and at the drop of a dime,
being the tallest among my friends can be kind of cool,
my boobs are AMAZING,
the best sister and friend a girl could have is still the funniest and weirdest girl named Cammie,
I like what I see in the mirror,
my husband thinks I think I know it all,
I don't have a clue what the hell I am doing, and that is what makes life so damn fun!

Happy Birthday To Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Extend Your Arms In Front Of You. Now Clap.

It is International Women’s Day, and I celebrate each and every one of you.

I also celebrate myself.

(What? Oh my gosh, how dare she be so confident!) I know someone out there thought it.

That is such a hard statement to publish. As women we are raised, or at least a lot of generations of women are raised to not “toot your own horn”, but to lift up others only.

Bullshit!

Celebrate every single thing you have done, survived, failed, or succeeded at in your life! 

Celebrate it loudly and proudly!

Recently, someone told my husband, “Your wife is an amazing woman, and amazing women are a pain in the ass.”  There was not one word I could deny about that statement. As a woman, I am amazing, and as an amazing woman I am a pain in the ass, and worth every ounce of the pain. 

I am amazing, because I survived many, many, many obstacles.

I am amazing, because I learn from my mistakes and I heal from them as well.

I am amazing, because I love, and I am loved.

I am amazing, because I work hard. 

I am amazing because I have spent a lifetime “improving myself.”

That’s right.  Did you know there are twice as many self-help and improvement books directed at women than there are men?

Let’s see if any of you have tried to “improve” yourself like I have:

Diet?

Hair color?

Hair cut?

Something to do with your boobs or your butt?

Education?

Diet?

Height? Slouched to be shorter? Painful heels to be taller?

Wrinkle cream?

Ridiculous gym memberships?

Tanning booth?

Diet?

Extra hair?

Fake hair?

Eyelashes?

Eyebrows?

Piercings?

Oh, did I say diet?

And after all these attempts, I bet you still returned to your authentic self, and do you want to know why?

BECAUSE. YOU. WERE. ALREADY.AMAZING!

I am amazing too, because I finally came full circle, knowing if I try something new it’s for me and for fun, not because I need to be the “improved” version for anyone else.

Celebrate women today, hell, every day, but never forget that you are to be celebrated too!

I am amazing because of the line of amazing women before me and around me, and for this I tell all of you, thank you.  

Thanks, 2018...Well Played

 Thank you for the life lessons:

15.   Compromise is a relationship saver.

14.   The closer you get to 50 the more you sweat, but the     
        less you sweat over the small stuff.

13.   Whatever you plan in life, twist it, turn it inside out,
        shake it, then drop it and that's how it will turn out
        for you.

12.  You may be use to how things have always been, but  
       they do not always have to be that way.

11.  You can support someone you love and not tell them
       all of your thoughts (Who knew?!?)

10.   Saving money for a rainy day really does feel good.

9.    You can still love and laugh with someone who voted  
       for Trump.

8.    There really isn’t anything more important than time
       for yourself.

7.    The only thing more important than time for yourself is
       time spent with your family, and all the traditions you
       share.

6.     Being a contradiction keeps people on their toes.

5.     Men use way too many pronouns and not enough
        proper nouns.

4.     Making your wife laugh really will save your life.

3.     Ignorance is everywhere, you can’t help everyone, live
        your truth.

2.    Hugging your momma can be the best medicine.

1.    Romance, the first year in a marriage, isn't about flowers or soft
       music, it’s about holding in your gas or them holding   
       in theirs until one of you leave the room.

Well, Well, Well...

Look who finally showed up with his GPS repaired, duct taped, and ready to roll...My Prince Charming.  The last time I posted, I believe it was April 2017, I was friends with this man. I was still making mistakes with others, but this guy, let's call him DG, was a friend of mine that seemed just too country for this city girl and way too kind. I mean he showed an interest in me, didn't insult me, didn't want me to change in any way shape or form, so why in the world would I ever want to date him? Ugh...He liked me just the way that I was. 

What in the hell was wrong with him?!?  I will tell you what was wrong with him...nothing and everything, and he was what I had been stumbling and tripping over others for years, until I found him. You can call me, Mrs. DG, and now the blog takes a *plot twist, and so a new year begins in my blogging life. Get ready, it's going to be funnier than ever, because now it's taken from a wife's point of view...




*A plot twist is a literary technique that introduces a radical change in the direction or expected outcome of the plot in a work of fiction. When it happens near the end of a story it is known as a twist or surprise ending. In other words, it's a real life, "Oh Shit" moment. 

Yep, this is the look I get when I utilize my first amendment right in my mother's tone of voice or my grandmother's volume. 

These Are My Words Unless I Say Otherwise

Here are some of my poems I have published elsewhere…Feel free to share your opinion with me.

                            Elise (Inspired by a withering sculpture named Elise)
Pieces of me fall away when I remember asking you to stay.
I'm like beautiful Elise just wanting your love without the deceit.
Blue skies and clouds are just part of the trek.
God, please don't let my heart turn into a wall that is a complete wreck.

Elise, Downtown Greensboro

                                                           Two Pieces
Imagine two blank canvases craving color but both scared to allow the artist to begin.
Once you begin you can never turn back.
One canvas yearning obvious colors that are in your face, daring you not to enjoy them.
The other is comfortable in melodic subtle tones expecting flattery,
Both sharing a quiet confidence.
Two blank canvases with all the hope and potential any one could desire, but concerned with not being unique.
Along comes an artist who has so much art inside of them it's dripping at the fingertips waiting to be unleashed.
And it is unleashed…two masterpieces, beauty all of their own, complementing one another side by side.

Watercolors 

Music
It helps me love you
Sometimes it keeps me from leaving
Helps me to remember the good
times and why you were worth it
The words say it for me and the
rhythm acts it out
Cries my tears when I just won't and
makes me strong when I am weak
Tells my story when I didn't even
know how to write
Allows me to forgive, to forge on
Music

Playlist

48 Plus 14 days

I always post on my birthday about life lessons and experiences.

This year I was out of town… which is weird to say because I was in Houston, but since my last birthday that is out of town now. 

Recently, I have been writing a lot of poetry under another name on social media so that is what I have been cheating on my blog with for an outlet. 

Here is what I had to say about turning 48 as my poem…

48 Years =

0 Husbands

1 Pregnancy

Enough lovers

1 College Degree

4 Surgeries

4 Best Friends

Enough Jobs

2 Careers

2 Cities

5 Countries

5 Islands

3 Great Loves

So much more to do and see…Happy Birthday To Me!

20/20

You want to know what hindsight is? 

Hindsight is your own life kicking you in the ass.

Hindsight 20/20 is a polite way to say,

 "Wow! Did you fuck up, and you had the nerve to think you were right all along! HAHAHAHA!

Sincerely, Your Life"

EVERY SINGLE serious relationship I have been in, the man has reached back to me (between 3 to 9 months later) to politely, "Check on you." 

Isn't that thoughtful? 

Uh, no. 

Eventually that "Check on you" text or phone call turns into a conversation that leads to him saying, "I messed up. You were the best thing that happened to me" or "You really did deserve so much better." 

Well let me say to any future men who could or will have their ass handed to them by hindsight…save your text messages and phone calls.

I know I am wonderful.

I know I am amazing.

I know I am strong.

I know I deserve better, that is why you are calling me, and I'm not calling you.